Weird+Stories

WEIRD STORIES

**Crazy computer stories** This is the transcript of an ACTUAL radio conversation of a U.S. Naval ship with Canadian Authorities off the coast of Newfoundland in October 1995. Radio conversation released by the Chief of Naval Operations 10 October 1995.


 * Americans**: Please divert your course 15 degrees to the North to avoid a collision


 * Canadians** Recommend you divert YOUR course 15 degrees to the South to avoid a collision.


 * Americans**: This is the Captain of a U.S. Navy ship. I say again, divert YOUR course.


 * Canadians**: No. I say again, you divert YOUR course.


 * Americans**: THIS IS THE AIRCRAFT CARRIER USS LINCOLN, THE SECOND LARGEST SHIP IN THE UNITED STATES ATLANTIC FLEET. WE ARE ACCOMPANIED BY THREE DESTROYERS, THREE CRUISERS AND NUMEROUS SUPPORT VESSELS. I DEMAND THAT YOU CHANGE YOUR COURSE 15 DEGREES NORTH, THAT'S ONE FIVE DEGREES NORTH, OR COUNTER MEASURES WILL BE UNDERTAKEN TO ENSURE THE SAFETY OF THIS SHIP.


 * Canadians****:** This is a lighthouse. Your call.

___ _ ___ Police in Wichita, Kansas, arrested a 22 year old man at an airport hotel after he tried to pass two (counterfeit) $16 bills. ___ _ ___ A man in Johannesburg, South Africa, shot his 49 year old friend in the face, seriously wounding him while the two practiced shooting beer cans off each other's head. ___ _ ___

A company trying to continue its five year perfect safety record showed its workers a film aimed at encouraging the use of safety goggles on the job. According to Industrial Machinery ___ _ ___

News, the film's depiction of gory industrial accidents was so graphic that twenty five workers suffered minor injuries in their rush to leave the screening room. Thirteen others fainted, and one man required seven stitches after he cut his head falling off a chair while watching the film. ___ _ ___ The Chico, California, City council enacted a ban on nuclear weapons, setting a $500 fine for anyone detonating one within city limits. ___ _ ___ A bus carrying five passengers was hit b a car in St. Louis, but by the time police arrived on the scene, fourteen pedestrians had boarded the bus and had begun to complain of whiplash injuries and back pain. ___ _ ___ Swedish business consultant Ulf af Trolle labored 13 years on a book about Swedish economic solutions. He took the 250 page manuscript to be copied, only to have it reduced to 50,000 strips of paper in seconds when a worker confused the copier with the shredder. ___ _ ___ A convict broke out of jail in Washington D.C., then a few days later accompanied his girlfriend to her trial for robbery. At lunch, he went out for a sandwich. She needed to see him, and thus had him paged. Police officers recognized his name and arrested him as he returned to the courthouse in a car he had stolen over the lunch hour. ___ _ ___ Police in Radnor, Pennsylvania, interrogated a suspect by placing a metal colander on his head and connecting it with wires to a photocopy machine, The message "He's lying" was placed in the copier, and police pressed the copy button each time they thought the suspect wasn't telling the truth. Believing the "lie detector" was working, the suspect confessed. ___ _ ___ When two service station attendants in Ionia, Michigan, refused to hand over the cash to an intoxicated robber, the man threatened to call the police. They still refused, so the robber called the police and was arrested. ___ _ ___ A Los Angeles man who later said he was "tired of walking", stole a steamroller and led police on a 5mph chase until an officer stepped aboard and brought the vehicle to a stop. ___ _ ___ A prisoner in a minimum security prison in Townsville, Australia, was caught breaking back into prison. He had escaped earlier that night to accompany his girlfriend to a dance, but wasn't missed until he was caught climbing over the fence to return to the prison.